Relationship Coach, Marriage Coach, Love Coach: Is There a Difference?

Relationship coach, marriage coach and love coach are usually different names for the same kind of work: a coach who talks with you so that you can look at your relationship and at the way you communicate. The difference lies not in the method but in which stage of a relationship is in focus. None of them is couples therapy.

What does a relationship coach do?

In a session a relationship coach asks questions, listens and reflects back what you have said. The coach does not decide who is right and does not tell you how the relationship should continue. The topic of the session is your behaviour, your words and your options.

For that reason relationship coaching is not refereeing or mediation. No promise is made about how the relationship will go; the experience differs from person to person.

What do marriage coach and love coach mean?

These names are usually labels for a topic rather than separate professions. In everyday use they divide roughly like this:

• Relationship coach: the name with a wide scope; it can also cover relationships with a partner, family, friends and colleagues.
• Marriage coach: used when the people are married or preparing to marry and the topics are daily communication, shared decisions and expectations.
• Love coach: used mainly for the period of meeting someone new, dating and starting a relationship.

The name a coach uses does not tell you, on its own, what that coach does. Asking about training, the topics the coach works on and the topics the coach does not work on tells you more.

What is the difference between relationship coaching and couples therapy?

Couples therapy is a separate service in the field of mental health; it is not the subject of this post. Relationship coaching is not a health service: a coach does not diagnose and does not treat. Coaching looks at the present, at the way you communicate and at the next step.

If there is violence, threat or anything that concerns your safety in the relationship, that is not a topic for coaching; the right step is to turn to the competent authorities and professionals. If there is ongoing psychological distress or a treatment in progress, see your doctor or your psychologist first.

Do you go to a relationship coach alone or as a couple?

Both are possible. A person who comes alone looks at their own part in the relationship and at their own way of communicating; the partner does not have to come. In sessions held with a couple, care is taken that both people have room to speak.

Merve Tüfekçi holds relationship coaching sessions one to one. People who would like to work as a couple write to us, and this is discussed together in the first meeting.

What is talked about in relationship coaching?

The person who comes sets the topic. Frequent topics are:

• What you want to say but cannot, and how you might put it into words
• How recurring arguments begin
• Setting limits and being able to say no
• Shared decisions: home, work, family, time
• What you expect from the relationship and what you want

A session usually ends with one small, workable step, and the next session looks at how that step went.

How does a first meeting go?

A first meeting is generally an introduction. You talk about the topic that brings you to coaching, what you expect from the work and how sessions will be planned. The coach also explains how they work and where their limits are. If both sides find it suitable, the programme is set up together.

What should you look at when choosing a relationship coach?

• Where the coach trained and which body issued the certificate
• Whether the coach works with individuals, with couples or with both
• In which situations the coach refers you to a mental health professional
• How the confidentiality of what is discussed is protected

Someone who promises that the relationship will be repaired, that a person will come back or that there will be a result within a set time has gone beyond coaching.

Relationship and communication coaching with Merve Tüfekçi

Merve Tüfekçi is an ICF (International Coaching Federation) certified professional life coach and relationship coach. Her relationship and communication coaching deals with relationships and the way you communicate; options are talked through together in the session.

Sessions are held at Şifa Köyü in Şile or online, in Turkish or in English. First contact is through our team; when you write to us, a short introductory meeting is arranged.

The difference between a relationship coach, a marriage coach and a love coach is in the name; at its core the work is a conversation that lets you look at your own communication. If there is a clinical need, couples therapy or a mental health professional is the right place to turn.

This post is for general information only; it is not medical or legal advice.

Relationship and Communication Coaching page →

Contact →

← All Articles